Feminine Dating Tips: How to Be More Feminine in a Relationship

Femininity and masculinity are often seen as opposing forces, but in truth, these two traits were purposefully created to complement one another beautifully. And in this post, we’re going to discuss how to be more feminine in a relationship from a Christian standpoint.

So, if you're a Christian woman seeking to attract a healthy masculine man, tapping into your femininity may just be the key to creating that spark and creating a deep connection and ultimately attracting the man of your dreams

Key Takeaways

• Exploring femininity and masculinity while debunking some common new age myths
• Dealing with your sinful nature that can hinder you from fully embracing your femininity.
• What does it mean to be feminine or soft in a relationship
• Cultivating a healthy view of femininity
• Expressing your femininity by dressing feminine

Be More Feminine - It’s Starts With You

As black women, we face a difficult challenge. We’re expected to be tough, independent, strong -almost ‘superwoman’ like when we deal with every other aspect of our lives.

But when it comes to our relationships, the same skills we were applauded for or expected to have, are the same skills that hinder us the most.

It feels like almost every other day, we’re being criticized for being “too masculine” or not “feminine enough”, “not desirable” or “soft”. 

And so, before we talk about how to be feminine in our relationships, we first need to define what femininity is.

Understand Masculinity and Femininity from a Biblical Perspective

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27 (NIV)

God created masculinity and femininity, and He created them perfectly before sin entered the world. When God created Adam and Eve, we see the first example of masculinity and femininity at work.

Adam was created first to work and maintain the land - the leader, protector and provider. 

Eve was created for Adam’s companion and for reproduction - nurturer and lover.

Adam also had a relationship with God before Eve was created. He had a purpose, in fellowship with his Creator and fulfilled what he was called to do. 

So did Eve.

Genesis 3 happens. The servant deceives Eve and Adam, and soon they are both banished from the garden because they violated God’s trust. 

I share that introduction because there’s a lot of stuff online that’s misleading.

Femininity and masculinity are expressions created by God. There isn’t anything divine about them, they’re just traits.

And as a woman, you are naturally feminine. 

Another concept we’d like to debunk is this idea of “energies”. While I understand the logic behind the term, “energies” just makes things sound a little too new-agey. 

Rather, than using the term energies, a woman can be more masculine based on her society and her experience. And what I mean by that is, that she is likely to assume a protector / provider role because her life circumstances force her to do so. However, her femininity is still present by her definition of being a woman.

So, if you’re trying to be more feminine in your relationship, remember this first simple truth

You are inherently feminine, you may be assuming masculine roles because of life situations, but you are feminine. And this leads me to my next point

Being Masculine isn’t a bad thing…for a season

I alluded to this earlier, but there are seasons in our lives where we as women are going to assume masculine roles. When it comes to being a parent, a mother would be in a masculine position to her children - as she is going to protect and provide. 

But the key point is that these are seasons. Meaning that it’s only temporary and should not be a permanent role (unless you want too)

Remember, you weren’t created to be masculine all the time, if you were, God would have created you a man. 

So as women, we need to know when we ease off our masculine roles and assume our feminine roles. Otherwise, if we don’t, we’ll enter relationships being masculine and attracting feminine men. 

Because of the complementary nature of masculinity and femininity. And this can be extremely frustrating and exhausting when you find yourself assuming a role you weren’t created for.

So, what do we do. 

First, we need to understand and identify when we’re acting more masculine and why.

Other than the parent role, we’re likely more masculine when we’re in a state of survival - physical, mental or emotional or when we’re in unsafe situations. That’s when we need to reflect and see what we need to do to provide safety and stability first. 

Most of us aren’t in physically unsafe situations, but mentally and emotionally we’re carrying a lot on our shoulders. We set time constraints and expectations, thinking it’s all on us to do everything. 

And those thoughts push us into a leader/protector and provider. 

So, when faced with those concerns, that’s when we need to step back and remember that we’re not in control. 

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” Matthew 6:25-34  (NIV)

I love this verse because Jesus is telling us that our God knows what we need. But if we seek Him first, he will provide all these things and much more. I also love the fact that Jesus asked who can add an additional hour to our life by worrying. 

By here’s the point, rather than carrying the burden of life on our own shoulders, we are encouraged to come to God.

And that leads us to our practical point - prayer. When you find yourself in a masculine state, very defensive or frustrated and tired, that should be your spiritual alarm telling you that you need to return back to God. 

When you develop a healthy spiritual discipline of getting into God’s word, praying and journaling and spend time with God, resting your burden on him - He becomes your protector and provider. 

That frees yourself from carrying the burden and puts you in a more feminine state while in those seasons. 

And this is so important because when you enter a relationship, it’s one of the things you’ll natural give off 

And let Him be your protector and provider.

By shifting your burdens to Him, you ultimately become freer which puts you into a more feminine state and then you will be able to approach relationships differently.

What does it mean to be feminine or soft in a relationship

What is a healthy definition of femininity? Is it just wearing dresses and makeup all day?

No, though it’s part of it.

A healthy feminine woman is a kind hearted, nurturing and compassionate woman who is following the Lord and operating in the purpose He has called her to be. She is loving and joyful, kind and faithful, gentle and has self-control.

Femininity is not weakness or subservience - rather it’s utilizing her God-given abilities to create safe relationships filled with love and vulnerability. 

So, how do you do it in the context of a relationship

Embrace Softness and Compassion

Develop soft skills by improving your communication skills. This includes active listening and being empathetic. Be present in conversations, focus only on him and ask open-ended questions to encourage a deeper discussion.

When you want to interject, try pausing and repeating what he said to fully understand what the point was before offering your response. 

The willingness to want to understand will go a long way

Another important aspect of soft skills development is emotional intelligence. This involves understanding and managing your own emotions, as well as being able to empathize with others. To enhance your emotional intelligence, consider practicing self-reflection and self-awareness through journaling and praying. It also involves having a healthy lifestyle - sleeping well, eating healthy and leading a physically active life can help you regulate your emotions.

Both of these help to create a safe relationship which allows both of you to be vulnerable and loving.

Another thing that’s often overlooked is being soft in your presentation

Opt for gentle makeup, accentuating your feminine features and opt for soft colors and fabrics when it comes to what you wear to appear soft.

Adopt a soft posture, avoid crossing your arms but sit straight up, have a gentle smile on your face while listening to your date.

On your dates, you don’t have to speak softly because that’s what you heard or watch, rather speak intentionally and directly. Respect him and his time.

And also respect yourself as well. If you sense disrespect, boundaries need to be established and reinforced.

Being feminine isn't about being subservient or weak. Rather it’s showing strength in softness 

Appreciate His Masculine Qualities

Remember when we mentioned that masculinity and femininity are complementary. Well, this is where the complementary dance takes into effect

When a feminine woman is on a date, she expects the masculine man she is on the date with to lead. And so she does so carefully with questions and compliments.

And we get it, it’s not common for women to find men who will take the initiative, but ladies they are out there. And funny enough, they’re not going to walk in and take it from you - at least most men aren’t.

Rather, it’s our job to allow them to have the space to take that position. Encourage them when to do, and applaud them for doing so. Give them the respect they deserve.

There are a lot of good men who can lead once given the capacity to do so. But not all are deserving of it, so use common sense.  

Oftentimes, the status quo is to “go with the flow” when it comes to relationships.

And this mindset will put any woman into her masculine role if she does not have stability or safety.

So, practical advice is to set boundaries for yourself before you get into a relationship. Here are just a couple of questions to help you get started and write down the answers to before getting into any relationship

Write out the answer, and if you find that you are approaching your boundaries have a direct and intentional conversation. 

For example, let’s say you’re seeing this person 5-6 times and he asked you out again, but you’re not exclusive yet. And you defined that your limit is 7. 

You can say, 

Hey, we’ve been out a couple of times. I love spending time with you (add compliments here) and we always have a great time together, but for me to continue seeing you like this, I would need to be in a committed relationship.

In the example above, it’s not about being bossy or taking the lead. Rather, it’s about saying what you need and stepping back to allow him the room and grace to make the decision that makes sense. 

Being feminine and soft in a relation is not about losing autonomy but rather creating a dynamic where both partners can showcase their strengths

Remember, you are not married to him, so you do not submit yourself to him. 

And often times the fear of being lead by the wrong person can force – or if they do something a way that’s different than how we do it, we’re quick to take back the lead. So if you find yourself anxious, fearful or nervous, step back and pray.

Submit that back to God, and let Him protect and provide for you. 

Act With Grace

Strive to be polite and kind, especially in response to chivalrous acts.

So being receptive and thankful is often the hardest and overlooked thing to do when it comes to relationship

Speak kindly of others, and treat others graciously. At dinner, interact with the waiter, host and staff with kindness and grace (and don’t pretend to be nice, but generally be polite)

When a date opens a door for you or lends you a jacket, recognize these gestures as acts of care and respond with kindness. Yes, you can do it yourself but you don’t have to.

It’s not about the act itself but their intention to treat you with consideration and respect.

Happily accepting gifts and allowing yourself to be treated. 

And be gracious back. 

After a date, a text or handwritten thank you card can go a long way.

And here’s the thing, being feminine, gracious and kind will attract more gifts. So, if you’re not receiving any gifts yet, it’ll happen the more feminine traits you start to exhibit.

Expressing your femininity by dressing feminine

Finally, look more feminine and soft. Spend extra time pampering yourself before the date so that you can look and feel your absolute best!

Stick to a classically feminine aesthetic: soft makeup, pastel colors, and clothes that flaunt your curves and accentuate your womanly figure. 

Rosy cheeks, glossy lips, soft curls or braids will go a long way. Look for clothes with traditionally feminine details that highlight your narrow waist and the curve of your hips. And the beauty about this is we have an entire collection dedicated to finding styles to enhance your feminine figure. In particular this style has been pretty popular.

Tiana Bay: How We Can Help You Unlock Your Feminine Power When You're With a Man

At Tiana Bay’s, we believe in empowering and uplifting your God-given femininity. We believe every person is fearfully and wonderfully created on purpose, for a purpose. And by being born as a woman, you are inherently feminine. And we also believe that the right outfit can help you unlock your feminine power on a date, allowing you to feel confident, radiant, and magnetic.

When we dress with intention, it sends a message—not just to the person we’re with but to ourselves about who we are, how we feel about ourselves, and how we expect to be treated. And so each style in our classy date night collection was thoughtfully selected with that in mind. Our hope is that in these pieces, you are able to communicate who you are, what you feel about yourself and the respect you deserve.

We do this by

• Hand-selecting styles made of the finest composition, weight, and texture, focusing on natural fibers like cotton, silk, cashmere, and leather when possible to ensure unmatched quality and comfort.
• Each item is carefully inspected for expertly tailoring to enhance your feminine silhouette to ensure that each piece drapes beautifully, providing effortless movement and a perfect fit.
• And partnering with independent designers and makers who focus on crafting every detail with care. 

When you're getting ready for a special evening, you shouldn’t have to worry about shipping delays or excessive costs when ordering online. We’ve taken that concern off your plate by offering free shipping on all orders, ensuring you receive your items promptly. No more waiting for weeks—your perfect date-night outfit will arrive on time, allowing you to focus on enjoying your time out.

Are you ready to unlock your feminine power on your next date? 

Shop our collection today and discover the perfect outfit to help you feel soft, beautiful, and effortlessly feminine.