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Reclaiming Femininity: Being a Feminine Women in a Masculine-Praising Society
As women, the message has been clear.
We are the “superwoman” generation.
We were told over and over that we were as good as boys. That we can do anything a boy can do, in fact, we were told that we can do anything a boy can do, better.
Songs and movies boast of women's independence, resilience and pride in not having to have to depend on men.
And while all these messages seemed encouraging, the subtext was that we prove our worth when we are compete and excel with men.
What made us difference was no longer celebrated but dismissed. Women were praised when they were providers and protectors, dismissed as solely nurturers. Or worse, advise that she could do it all.
We were secretly being told that if we did not provide and protect of our lives - if we did not provide for ourselves - we were worthless, weak and dependent on men.
After all, if we weren’t as good as boys, we just weren’t good enough.
And thereby creating a more masculine group of women.
Women who struggle to embrace and reclaim their femininity, and resting in it.
Reclaiming femininity doesn't mean ignoring the masculine expression that you possess.
Rather, it means to recognize when we’re functioning in a capacity that is contrary to our natural expression, why we are in that state, and step back into our feminine state.
Biological men are naturally masculine, and therefore, tend to be providers and protectors. Whereas, biological women are naturally feminine by design, and tend to be nurturers and caregivers.
And thereby men and women are purposefully complimentary. However, when we build a society that believes that men and women are interchangeable, we lose the beauty of the complementary nature of this and we force each person to function in a capacity that is contrary to their natural expression.
All that being said, there are seasons in life when women will step into the providers/protector role, and men can step into the nurturer and caregiver role. But when they do so, it's likely because there is no alternative. They're in survival mode.
We see this case in relationships when one spouse loses a job/gets sick/removed from the house for any reason, the other spouse will step into the dominant role, ie the masculine role.
So, when a women is operating more masculine role - she is protecting herself and likely in a survival mode. And she can function at that state for awhile.
But if she continues to function, she may find herself burdened, angry and resentful.
Exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Desiring to rest and relinquish her control to someone who is worthy to handle that control but in that role, she attracts people around her who gravitate towards that kind of environment. Other women who are in survival mode, frustrated and defeated by life but incapable of seeing a way out.
And feminine men who have grown complacent with survival mode.
So what to do?
Well, in order for us to embrace our femininity and the transformative power of it, we first need to accept ourselves fully as woman.
Resting in our Femininity Starts With The Need of a Savior
Embracing your femininity starts by first realizing that who we are - flaws and all - and accepting that..
This is harder said than done, because we’ve all had moments in our lives when we were told that we weren’t good enough. We may have experienced neglect or abuse that damaged our psyche, pushed us in positions to constantly protect ourselves and therefore pushed us to be more masculine.
And a huge part of being feminine is the ability to be soft and vulnerable.
But it doesn't stop there, it's also taking things one step further and dealing with our brokenness, traumas, hurts, and missed expectations.
And rather than read affirmations, there’s a spiritual truth we need to grasp.
That there is something inherently wrong with us. We were created for a loving relationship with God, and our sin nature has kept us from so.
And that sin nature is that persistently stubborn stain we’ve been desperately trying to blot out.
Rather than fix it ourselves, we need to look to God.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life” John 3:16
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” 1 John 3:16
Friends, it is this love that we use as the basis for our self-acceptance. The love demonstrated by Christ when He died for our sins. Our brokenness, hurt and trauma.
And once we accept His love, we move differently.
This self-acceptance helps you drop societal pressures and embrace your femininity. It helps you overcome limiting beliefs and insecurities.
"Only when you fully grasp that you were made on purpose for a purpose by a loving God, can you fully embrace your feminine identity."
And as you accept this truth, your relationships, career, and well-being will improve.
The true power of self-acceptance is about loving what Jesus has done for you and choosing to praise Him because of His love and sacrifice and embracing the spiritual healing that comes from Him.
One of the biggest critiques we hear from women in our community is that when it comes to being feminine, we just do not feeling safe to do so. We do not feel safe trusting men solely to protect and provide for us.
And this is completely understandably. In Genesis, when God created man and women, masculine and feminine beings, that was before sin entered. When everything was perfect.
It's no longer the case. So as Christian women, embracing our femininity, we need to first turn to Christ. We need to give him our hurts and pains and worries and cares, knowing that He loves us and cares for us
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peters 5:7
And the beauty about this is that rather than transferring this expectation to a man, we place it in God’s hands. And when we do this, we create a different atmosphere. We’re not bogged down with the cares, worries and frustrations of this world.
We’re reminded that we are loved and in His hands. We’re reminded that we are cared for and protected, and whatever happens, God is still in control.
We’re able to be soft because we transferred the burden of being the protector and provider back to God.
And as we walk with God, we learn to trust Him more and more because He is faithful and just.
We don’t have to be the ones to do everything, we learn to rest.
Femininity and Vulnerability
Society often portrays vulnerability as a weakness, something to be avoided. However, it is through vulnerability that we truly connect with others and experience deep, meaningful connections.
Femininity encourages us to embrace vulnerability and allows us to tap into our emotional depths. It is through vulnerability that we discover ourselves and find the courage to express our true emotions and desires. As well as foster an environment in which others can do the same.
And this is scary, and so often we find ourselves stepping into our masculinity to protect ourselves from being vulnerable and soft.
We’d rather take control, portray strength and toughness because we’re afraid to feel pain or experience it again. But we need to remember that vulnerability is not a weakness. It’s a requirement of life.
And by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, we open up the doors to growth and personal development.
We learn to trust ourselves and others, and find strength in our ability to navigate through life's challenges with grace and resilience.
And we learn to cultivate empathy, forge deeper connections, and live a more fulfilling life.
So dare to embrace your femininity and vulnerability, and experience the transformative power it brings.
Application: How to Create the Feminine Lifestyle
We’ve already talked about how important it is for a woman to be feminine, so let’s talk about how one is to do so.
Here are some daily activities that will help you become more feminine.
Start your day spending time in God’s word, meditating on the bible and basking in His love and presence. Put on your armor of love, reminding yourself that you were created on purpose for a purpose
Practice a form of self-care (enjoying a healthy breakfast, going for a walk, exercising in the morning)
Spend time pampering yourself / dress up
During your workday, take time to
Journaling to explore your emotions and process them - not to judge how you’re feeling but to become aware of what your emotions are saying
Meditation to calm the mind and remember what the scriptures you head in the afternoon
Spend time with your loved ones
Sensual self-care, such as indulging in a luxurious bath to exercising your body, eating a healthy diet
Prioritizes peace, patience and positivity by setting firm boundaries and enforcing them
Guard your heart by protecting what type of content you consume.
Seeks Godly guidance and wisdom
Enjoy the little moments of life
Creativity through art, music, or dance to unleash your feminine creativity
These self-care practices will help you find balance as you tap into your femininity.
How should Christians respond to Dark Femininity - well click to read more the truth about dark femininity and why this trend may be more dangerous than you think.
So, I came across a Reddit post asking about the divine femininity in Christianity. And the poster was asking about why this wasn’t mentioned more. The poster mentioned that the divine feminine offers a more balanced approach to God, allowing God to be more intimate and immanent.
And so, I wanted to write on this topic because it’s important to discuss.
Being a christian feminine woman, there is a lot of talk about divine femininity and using femininity to heal ourselves.
But here’s the thing, if you are a Christian, there is no divine femininity in Christianity.
'So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” 'Genesis 1:26-27
I bolded, He Created Them to draw emphasis on this very idea. God created men and woman.
I’ve also written another post about the demonic aspect to the whole divine feminine that you can read here.
“You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by Your will they were created and have their being.” Revelations 4:11
I love this verse in Revelations because it repeats this beautiful statement that we see in Genesis. God is the creator of all things - and by His will they were created and have their being - their purpose.
What about Virgin Mary? Would she be considered a divine feminine being?
No.
Mary was created by God for a beautiful purpose. Back in Luke, the angel Gabriel appears to Mary to tell her that she will have a son, and she is to call him Jesus. Mary rejoices and responds back with this beautiful poem
'And Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.” 'Luke 1:46-55
Did you catch the opening statement, how she expresses her gratitude, her spirit rejoices in God, her savior.
Mary viewed herself as a sinner, needing to be saved and not as a divine entity. Humans made her that.
God created Mary to give birth to Jesus. And she knew that and was praising God for that.
And this beauty of God’s grace.
It was that through Eve’s disobedience, that the entire human race was cursed - but through Mary’s obedience, the human race had another chance of redemption.
And because of what Jesus did on the cross, we can have a close relationship with God, being connected to our creator and father and having a purpose for our life.
So, to answer the original reddit’s post, God does not need a divine feminine entity to create an intimate connection with us. We need to accept Jesus's work on the cross to entire that finish relationship.
You see, sin separates us from God.
God is all perfect, completely worthy and holy, never making a mistake.
And the bible mentions so many instances when God's chosen people get a glimpse of God's holiness, his sinlessness, they can barely stand or look.
But because of God's love for us, He sent His son Jesus to die for us
And when Jesus died for our sins, he paid the ultimate price so that we can have a relationship with God.
We can be connected to our loving Father like we should have had in the garden because the sin that separates us is no longer between us but rather crucified with Jesus.
We do not need any other mediators but Jesus.
Ok, that’s all for today, if you enjoy more of our christian content, I'd consider you look into John (the Gospel) and Romans as starting places.
And if you're looking for wholesome, Christian feminine content, join our newsletter
We’re an online clothing brand that focuses on feminine clothes but also promoting a God-given femininity.
We’re not making any idols but celebrating God through fashion.
So can the Christian woman be a soft girl?
Should a Christian woman pursue the soft girl life...
As a black christian woman and an active soft woman, I think there is an interesting dance on how we balance the two but it's possible with these 4 points.
But before we get started, let's define what is the soft girl life.
A soft life is defined as a a lifestyle of comfort and relaxation with minimal challenges or stress, which is the opposite extreme of the hustle culture.
And as Christians, we have to first remember that our God did not guarantee a life of comfort.
Quite the opposite.
“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
And if you’ve lived long enough, you know that some troubles you cannot escape.
But here’s the beauty of that statement, that Jesus promised that we won’t face those troubles alone. In fact, in John 17, there’s a beautiful prayer that Jesus prays over us.
Yes, Us.
And let’s not forget the most beautiful promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us and He is with us always,
So while we will not have a life of comfort and relaxation absolutely avoidant of stress and challenges, there are other ways we can live out a soft life.
Appearance.
When you think about being a soft girl. What comes to mind? What does she look like, what does she sound like, dress like or even smell like?
I have a feeling we have a few images in mind of women who are beautiful, adorned in expensive jewelry and brand name clothing.
And as Christian woman, there is nothing wrong with putting effort into our appearance, dressing nicely, maintaining good hygiene and being physically active.
Let me make this absolutely clear, and loud enough for all you in the back, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty, soft and feminine. Especially if you’re single or even if you’re married or at any stage.
There’s a reason why God made men visual.
And as an owner of a fashion brand, we're all for dressing your best and feeling good. We want you to see yourself as the woman you've always dreamed of and that's why our still is modern elegance, not-branded but still classy.
The trap is when what our outer appearance becomes our idol. When we depend on the brands we wear to speak for us rather than remembering that we were bought with a price.
So, look good but let's not be like the pharisees that were beautiful on the outside but empty on the inside.
Soft Girl Self-Care
So there’s this beautiful story about Elijah in the bible. Elijah just performed this miraculous feat, and Jezebel heard about it, and threatens Elijah. And Elijah, being the man of God that he is, ran.
He finds a bush and falls asleep.
An angel provides him with a meal before he is lead to the mountain of God.
And I think that’s a beautiful illustration of how important self-care is. Elijah had performed a miracle but was probably exhausted so he reacted emotionally which was why he ran.
And here we're watching God meet the physical needs first - rest, eat, etc, - while leading Elijah back to Him for the ultimate healing.
And that’s why I’m so for the self-care aspect. Softies, we need to be praying and spending time with the Lord, journaling, working out and eating well.
I'll be the first to say that I struggle with this part, as there's always something to do but we need to rest in the Lord.
And this is where I would go one step forward, we can actively avoid stress and worry because we know the One who holds everything in His hand.
And this ties in to boundaries.
We should do everything we can to protect the joy that comes from being in relationship with Jesus. And we should fight against anything that tries to rid us of our joy, and that’s usually in the form of anxiety or worry.
Some of my favorite verses on this includes -
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].
1 Peter 5:7
Should we avoid toxic people?
Yes, the bible talks about avoiding bad characters in proverbs.
But again, there will be times we will have challenging people in our lives.
And as Christians, we need to have discernment in those moments because we can't try to ignore those relationships because we want a comfortable life. It's about what God has for us to do.
And his plans and purposes are always better than ours.
Which this point brings me to my final point. We are told to pick up our crosses daily, dying to ourselves each day which does make it challenging to live out a soft life.
Because sometimes God may be calling us to something different. Something greater.
So, yes, you can pursue this soft life but keep in mind that your Lord and Savior may have something better than that in store for you which is far more rewarding than any soft life.
So those are my tips. I hope that helps you.
Let me know what your tip takeaways are. If I left something out, drop in the comments. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks. Bye
So, I’ve got a confession to make. I hate terms like feminine energy or urge, but one that I’ve despised is Divine Femininity.
And this is coming from a black Christian soft girl perspective.
When I first heard this term, I was on TIKTOK, and I felt like someone was trying to sell a course - kind of like the Twin Flame vibe.
But upon further research, I started to see the root of all this nonsense. And if you’re like me, a Christian who loves the soft girl life, you’ll see why we can’t stand behind this either.
The concept of divine feminine refers to the energy that exists within us and without us. According to tinyrituals.co, this divine feminine energy that exists within and without us is softer, nurturing, intuitive, and empowering.
And at first, it sounds spiritual - at least on the surface.
But as Christians, we know that is not true. The Bible describes the human heart as desperately evil and wicked. It’s a dark, void and empty pit.
And when I read that verse, the image that comes to mind is Genesis 1.
Before God spoke, the earth was formless and void, empty and dark. It wasn’t until God said, “let there be light” and God saw there was light and God saw that the light was good (pleasing, useful) and [e]He affirmed and sustained it; and God separated the light [distinguishing it] from the dark.
Now, don’t miss that. Apart from God, there is nothing good. There is just confusion and emptiness, void of any meaning. It wasn’t until God spoke, and there was light.
But if we go back to that original definition, there is this notion that this divine femininity is trying to make a claim that there is a feminine higher power.
In fact, According to Gnostic texts, which is where this ideology originates from, Sophia was the right hand of God and creator of the world, and Mary Magdalene was Jesus' favorite apostle, and probably his wife, then Pope Gregory decided to remake her into a prostitute.
Again, that’s just not true. First, we know that it was Jesus who is seated at the right hand of God and it was Jesus who was there at the beginning of time. In fact, John opens up the gospel with this very statement.
1 In the beginning [before all time] was the Word ([a]Christ), and the Word was with God, and [b]the Word was God Himself. He was [continually existing] in the beginning [co-eternally] with God. All things were made and came into existence through Him; and without Him not even one thing was made that has come into being. In Him was life [and the power to bestow life], and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines on in the [c]darkness, and the darkness did not understand it or overpower it or appropriate it or absorb it [and is unreceptive to it].
I chose the Amplified Bible Version because it really illustrates a powerful point that before anything was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
Jesus existed in the beginning with God. All things were made and came into existence through Him, and without Him not even one thing was made that has come into being.
Remember the definition of divine femininity, well, if you read a little closer, we’re seeing an image of a feminine deity that exists to provide life - ie she is the nurture, softer, and essentially giving life.
Now, looking over these two verses directly opposing the concept of divine femininity. Jesus is our source of life, not femininity or masculinity.
“But I do feel like I’m more masculine. Is it wrong to say that I’m operating in my masculine energy?”
Well, I’d say that depends.
In Genesis 5:2, we’re told that God created both male and female and blessed them and called them “human.” So femininity nad masculinity are both made by God but not to be worshiped, but rather to fulfill God’s purpose which was to go forth and multiply and fill the earth.
God created men and women as complementary, but it’s sin that has taken what God has made and corrupted it.
So, I’d say that while it’s ok to want to be more feminine and less masculine, we need to look at things in the proper context.
We first need to address the sin aspect and remember the gospel message.
Continuing John 1, it reads
9 There it was—the true Light [the genuine, perfect, steadfast Light] which, coming into the world, enlightens everyone. He (Christ) was in the world, and though the world was made through Him, the world did not recognize Him. He came to that which was His own [that which belonged to Him—His world, His creation, His possession], and those who were His own [people—the Jewish nation] did not receive and welcome Him. But to as many as did receive and welcome Him, He gave the right [the authority, the privilege] to become children of God, that is, to those who believe in (adhere to, trust in, and rely on) His name— who were born, not of blood [natural conception], nor of the will of the flesh [physical impulse], nor of the will of man [that of a natural father], but of God [that is, a divine and supernatural birth—they are born of God—spiritually transformed, renewed, sanctified].
Jesus came to restore what was lost in the garden of Eden.
Our relationship with God.
And that’s the beautiful thing about being a Christian, is the fact that as broken, lost and rejected you feel - and rightfully so, God loved us so much that He sent His son to die for our sin.
We need to ask ourselves what is the condition of our heart. As Christians, have we fully repented and accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior
Are we praying regularly and prioritizing our relationship with Jesus over our soft life goals?
Do we trust Jesus fully with our dreams, hopes, worries, and anxiety?
Again, it’s ok to want to be more feminine, but we just can’t prioritize our femininity over our relationship with God.
Anyhoo, that’s enough from me. Let me know your thoughts.
So, this TikTok video caught our attention. I’ll leave the link here .
It’s a short 13 second clip but will transcribe the audio exchange below -
In the video, a small panel of black women and men were discussing femininity.
One of the women said, “There’s no way I can know how to be feminine when I’ve been robbed of the man that is supposed to cater to my feminine being.”
A man responded, “Men who are masculine creatures can’t teach a woman to be feminine.”
When two women disagreed, he retorted, “More better than a woman could?”
I shared this clip with our team, and it was eye-opening to hear the different responses.
But this exchange did bring up several crucial points.
@dailyrapupcrew #femininity #blackwomen #feminineenergy #feminine ♬ original sound - DAILYRAPUPCREW™️ | PODCAST
The Feminine Struggle is Real
Femininity is a struggle. And in my experience, I think being more feminine requires 'resting'. Which is hard.
When our team watched the video and started talking and we realized we all had a similar experience growing up.
We were all 'told' that we had to handle it all. That by being black women, we had to be tough to handle this world differently. We recalled moments when we were told crying and appearing feminine was weak and would allow other people to take advantage of you.
Some of us witness our own moms or maternal relatives being taken advantaged of.
Some of us was fortunate not to see this personally but watched enough TV, music videos (Vh1/MTV throwback, anyone?), and movies to see how we were supposed to be.
And speaking on movies/television shows, whenever a black woman was a soft, feminine character - she tended to be ditzy or a snob while the rougher around the edge / slight masculine woman was smart and the ones we should aspire to be
And even as Christians, we went through the world carrying this invisible stress that we're ill-equipped to carry. Almost as if being perceived as weak was this horrible abomination. Along with carrying this weight, we also learned the art of protecting ourselves in a way that would remove any hint of weakness or fragility.
We were taught to always be in a fight mode, and sometimes we didn't know when to turn off
And we were just tired of it all.
We just wanted to be the damsel in distress. We wanted to be the ones being taken care of. Not in a childish way, but in a loving way. We just wanted another place to feel safe.
But the men in the video are right. It's not their job to help us feel safe, it's ours
(lol, no surprise - another thing we have to do 🥲 but this will help!)
how to be more feminine as a black woman
Well, it starts by reclaiming the woman we were told to hate.
The woman who reminded us of our limitations, and embrace her because we aren't both masculine and feminine. We're feminine beings.
By being born women, we are feminine. So we should claim that. We'll leave the masculine for the men
And the next thing is surrendering the control I think I have and giving it back to God. Reminding myself that I can't outthink any circumstance all I can do is my best and leave the rest to God.
And I will not out-hustle the Lord.
Instead, I choose to spend time on His word and who He called me to be.
This involved meditating on biblical verses like Matthew 6:33 reminded me that God is in charge and 1 Peters 5:7.
I also started to lean into the idea of the sabbath. Resting in the Lord's hands reminded me that I am not equipped to carry all the burdens of this world on my own shoulders. That's the Lord's.
I just need to rest in His embrace. And by doing so, I also learned to accept the woman that I wanted to reject.
The next thing I had to do what change how I dressed .
Does dressing more feminine really make me feminine?
Yes. We have an entire blog post here where we talk about why feminine dressing matters.
I don't want to downplay how important this is. Dressing more femininely will help you be more feminine.
We like to believe that people do not judge based on image, but that's simply not true.
And this is especially true for black women. When I started embracing my femininity, it was a struggle to find styles that softened my appearance without being too sexualized.
I avoided a lot of corset dresses and the super tight and feminine dresses because I did not want to be viewed as over-sexualized (and often times, we still see that today. Corset dresses with push up bras that are more sexualized than feminine and classy)
I refused sweats, leggings and crocs and opt for classier mini dresses, blouses and jeans with flats.
And yes, I can hear you say that clothing shouldn't matter. And typically this is followed by a story about women who wear sweats and are inherently feminine and give off a feminine aura.
And while that is true - I see them as exceptions. I am not the exception. But in my experience, when I changed my wardrobe - the response was wild.
I remember going from being single and shy and invisible to being pursued by multiple men. I even had one of the men informed me that he was looking for a wife. (i was shocked, I never had this happen to me before )
And what I believe because I dressed differently than what they expected, I was different. I became the exception.
And a lot of black feminine coaches and feminine gurus describe a femininity for black women that is more reflective of African culture and pride.
The argument is that traditional femininity is a reflection of European values and not inclusive to black America. And if you follow the rabbit hole long enough, feminine energy comes. I', not going to spend time on this post talking about it because I've already written post about the dangers of feminine energy and how the divine feminine is just demonic.
We do not believe in feminine energy because we believe that if God created you as a woman, you are inherently feminine.
Sure, you may have been masculine in some settings but that doesn't erase your femininity. And our brand is all about bring that femininity out through fashion.
How Tiana Bay Helps You Be More Feminine as a Woman
My sister and I build this brand because of our experiencing being black women and our own personal struggles with femininity.
We understand the profound connection between how you dress and how you feel.
And we’re not the only ones, psychologists have an entire field dedicated to how what we wear and how it impacts our life.
And the process is similar to the concept of a vision board - by creating a mental image of what you want to accomplish, scientists discovered that our brain will look for any opportunity to make our mental image a reality.
So when you choose to wear feminine clothes, and look into a mirror, you are creating a mental image and your brain is going to confirm.
Dressing more feminine also serves as a rededication to your feminine journey. When you decide each day to wear something feminine, it serves as a daily reminder of your identity and values.
But more importantly, dressing more feminine makes a statement to yourself about how you really are.
That you are strong and capable but also soft, delicate and vulnerable. You don't have to discredit your womanhood, nor should you, but you don't have to prove it either.
That you are strong and capable but also soft, delicate and vulnerable. You don't have to discredit your womanhood, nor should you, but you don't have to prove it either.
It's not just clothes, or is it?
One of the major objections we hear is that clothes do not make a woman feminine, but how she carries herself.
Again we’re not saying that clothes are the sole reason why a woman is feminine, it’s one of the main reasons why she is perceived as more feminine than others.
Remember, to a point we alluded to earlier, if God made you a woman, you are inherently feminine.
But let’s do a little activity, when it comes to feminine women, who comes to mind? For me, it's Princess Catherine or Dorothy Dandridge.
Both women ooze feminine and class in their appearance, speech, and posture.
I don't know anything about their personality but they're pretty, feminine and classy, and it's because of how they present themselves.
And here’s the powerful takeaway from their presentation, once a woman make that impression stick - it’s hard to not see them as feminine.
Join our movement
And the second reason why we're choosing fashion - well, because fashion and the media had played their part in creating an image of black women as hyper sexualized, hyper independent women who were too strong for relationships or families.
So our brand was created to challenge that narrative. To challenge the masculization of women in our society.
It’s personal for us. We talk about the spiritual and mental work for any woman who wants to be more feminine but also we step into the physical world and talk about what it looks like to dress more feminine.
We curated and design a collection of high-quality, classy, and playful styles designed to help women like you feel soft, delicate, and pretty -reclaiming the woman in her she was told to hate.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made on purpose. And we don’t ever want you to feel less than. So that’s why we work hard to provide you with the styles that will empower you. And we hope you will join our community of like-minded women who are also navigating the balance of work, life, and personal growth. Share your experiences, uplift each other, and find strength in our shared stories.
Together, we can redefine what it means to be soft, delicate, feminine as a black woman and empower each other to live our best lives.
Valerie, Co-Founder of Tiana Bay
My sister and I started Tiana Bay with a goal to help women reclaim their femininity with a curated collection of high-quality, classy, and playful styles. Our brand was created out of frustration to how black women were negatively portrayed in the media and our goal is to challenge the negative stereotypes surrounding black women and femininity
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What Women Are Saying About Us
"I’ll admit I was hesitant because I had never heard of this boutique but it had the perfect dress for my daughters christening at a great price! Well I was pleasantly surprised! The communication about the order was top notch customer service and it got here so quickly! Then I opened it up and the quality was there! It has good weight to it and fine detail! Definitely was a good purchase! Highly recommend!.”
Lisa V
At Tiana Bay, we believe that dressing feminine is more than clothes. It's about embracing our God-given femininity, how we feel about ourselves and how we show up in the world. Growing up, my sister and I struggled to find soft feminine clothing that reflected the women we wanted to become. So, we started a feminine clothing brand to help you feel soft, delicate and beautiful while challenging the negative cultural stereotypes. We want to help you celebrate the strength and beauty that lies within a woman who knows she was born for such a time as this.
