Dark Femininity? And How Christians Should Respond to It?

If you’ve spend any amount of time on the internet in the feminine space, you’re sure to come across this ideology of “dark femininity”

It’s often depicted as this powerful, seductive feminine woman - where she rejects the concepts of traditional femininity and embraces traits that are wild, fierce and unapologetic.

While doing my research, I came across a post that shared that the dark feminine traits reflect, “the part of us that is ANGRY, FIERCE, SEDUCTIVE, and POWERFUL”.

Okay…

While doing my research, I realized that Dark feminine energy is often described as a survival mechanism for women who have been suppressed by societal expectations, encouraging them to fight back (? against the patriarchy ) and reclaim their power in a bold, assertive, and even seductive way if they have to.

“We’re tired of being the good girl, so we’re going to be the wild child - wild, fierce, and unapologetic and undefined by rules or boundaries”

And while I can’t help but want to roll my eyes at this whole movement, as Christians, we need to be very careful with this content.

This persona/energy - or however you want to define it - is not just an alternative way to femininity but it's demonic.

Sure, dark femininity advocates for being independent, assertive and in control of your own destiny as women - which again - there isn’t anything wrong with those characteristics.

Especially given how our culture negative views traditional femininity, women have often viewed their femininity as a handicap, and here we see an opportunity to use what “society deems a handicap” as a means to control, power, and respect. 

True femininity, as God designed it, is not dark, destructive, weak or submissive but a reflection of God, our creator, it is about submitting to a greater authority than us - Christ - and embodying an image that reflects His glory.

Did you catch that?

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasp but emptied himself by taking the form of a servant

Another translation of that verse says,

When a woman steps into her God-given femininity, she steps into a relationship with Christ and learns to rest in that relationship, she learns that she is able to take a deep breath and feel… at ease because He is in control.

She is no longer fighting, clawing, using her body in a manner to manipulate others to get what she deserves at of life, but rather she walks with purpose and intent knowing that the Creator of this Universe, our Heavenly Father, is in complete control.

She doesn’t need to operate out of her masculine energy to force things to happen, but rather she moves with purpose.

But it goes much deeper than, this world will take on the idea of being assertive, controlling, seductive, manipulative, and toxic to get what they want for their own self interest

But as Christians, we see another more beautiful image. We see an image of a loving God who sent His son down to earth to pay the price for our wicked ways. And a loving son who willingly submitted and humbled himself to the point of death for us.

Friends, it’s ok to want to be feminine and look pretty, dress up and have fun - but at the end of the day we need to remind ourselves that our ultimate goal is to reflect God’s glory to this world.

So when we look at our own femininity, we should aspire to be like Christ.

In proverbs 31, we see a beautiful depiction of a woman.

And I think it’s a good indicator of what kind of woman we should strive to be

A wise woman, a woman who has the same accord as Christ.

A feminine woman is someone who looks after others because she is filled with the Holy Spirit. She is able to fully love and nurture because she is filled with God’s love and His peace and approval - not others. She is able to freely create and express herself because she is rooted in Christ.

She is not driven by power or dominance - and her heart is not filled with anger or rage - but rather she is at peace because she is at peace with God.

And she does not need to embrace the darkness to be powerful.

Because unlike the devil who’s time is short, she knows her true power rests in the God who created it all. And at the end of the day, Christ will return and reclaim what is His.

So while dark femininity may seem like a path to empowerment, it’s just a counterfeit that ultimately leads to death and destruction.

It replaces genuine self-worth with pride, and true confidence with arrogance. As Christian women, our identity and worth should be rooted in Christ, not in a distorted expression of power that conflicts with our God-given nature.

At Tiana Bay, we believe that women were created to reflect God-given femininity, a femininity that is loving, life giving, nurturing, compassionate, and kind and we celebrate this kind of femininity through the styles we select.

We also love fashion because it’s expressive and fun, but we also approach fashion differently because we know our styles do not validate you.

We believe that we are saved and redeemed only by the blood of Jesus. For God so loved us that He sent His son to die for us. So that whoever may believe in Him will have eternal life.

It was God’s doing. God saved us by his grace when we believed. And we can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.

And because of this, we’re able to enjoy fashion differently. It’s not a form of legalism because we know that it’s not by our works that we are saved by Jesus’ finished work on the cross.

But rather it becomes a celebration of life. Something we get to do because God gave us the ability to enjoy it.